self fulfilling prophecy

on feburary 18, 2010, i wrote a post on loneliness & being homesick and ended it with this paragraph:

sometimes the loneliness does sink in & i wonder why i’m so far away from those whom i love. but snap back to reality and i know that d.c. is the place for me in these next 4 years. no matter how hard it is, no matter how distant it may seem. 2013 i will emerge victorious, stronger, and transformed ready to rock the lives of my beloveds once again. at home or from afar? i have no idea. but where the Lord leads me … i will go :) and of course. the new people and relationships forged here will create a new part of me … push me to greater lengths. it’s happening already!

that was in the cusp of my freshman year. i was finding really amazing jesus-loving friends for the first time, was in my first relationship ever, school was great; but i still was lonely. so i wrote this manifesto, you could say not realizing its implications or where i would actually be 3 years later. it is actually insane to think that all of those adjectives have come true in some way or form. victory over my insecurities. stronger than my doubts. transformed and healed from who i thought it was okay to be. And totally-super ready to “rock the lives of my beloveds”. No sarcasm there, because I KNOW in 6 months, I will be back where I started, a completely new person to continue on the adventure that God has set forth for me.

looking back is so important and i am so thankful that this blog helps document my journey. i have changed things around here a bit. as always, i am unsatisfied with the layout so this one should make do for now. i’ve also added a tagline: “stories from an ordinary girl loving an extraordinary Savior“. it’s amazing to think back upon who i was freshman and sophomore year and realize that God had been working on my character in so many ways even when i felt so imperfect and broken. in my upperclassmen years, i still face my brokenness, but i can take it on with full-steam because my confidence in God has increased ten-fold.

brilliant.

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