men: why we need them

I scrolled down my twitterfeed today & came across this blog post from Lauren Dubinsky titled 5 Top Reasons I Love Men and without reading the article (I was in class), I KNEW I had to write a response/inspired post. In the past year, I’ve realized that it is super unhealthy for us females to bash and hate on guys because of our past negative experiences. The more we do that to good men, the more we perpetuate a cycle where good men “don’t exist” and women always have to pick up slack for them. We need to give these good men some love, so this post is a giant public affirmation to all the men in my life (and you too, stranger).

Without any fanfare or whistles, here it goes — a simple list of why we need good men & how much i ruv them.

UNO. Good men are straight up and tell me the truth that I need to hear. They also sympathize with compassion, but sometimes you need that hard dose of reality that a brother can offer.

DOS. They love on you! Yes, sometimes it seems like a double edged sword because they’re making fun of you all the time, but there’s also many moments when the men in my life have gone out of their way to help organize surprise birthday parties (ie. the ten thousand ones that occurred this semester in chi alpha) or just have good times together enjoying music & eating GOOOOD food 🙂

TRES. They walk you home (or drive…or bike?). Whether its my dad, an older/younger brother, “uncle” from church — there is something to chivalry and having someone who makes sure you get home safely that’s awesome and induces fuzzy warm feelings. In a non-creepy way, but more of a “wow, thanks for watching out for me”.

CUATRO. They know how to encourage, and sometimes it is so subtle that you’re like: “wait, whoa, WHAT just happened?!!” Exhibit A: I recently got a wonderful internship opportunity & emailed my parents about it. My mom emails back with encouraging words right away. Dad on the other hand, takes awhile (he doesn’t check his email as much as mom) — but he replies with a couple of short sentences, but it just blows me away because those few words show me how much he’s rooting for me. There’s somethin’ beautiful in that. And there are PLENTY of good men out there that do that (I”M LOOKING AT YOU!!!)

CINCO.  Good men laugh with you. I find that even when I do embarrassing things (ie. snort when laughing. or fail at praying. or trip on air. or fart. and burp. and all those things girls apparently “don’t do?!!!”) with the good men in my life, they just take it in stride and make a huge deal out of it!

SEIS. Good men value friendships! The good men in my life appreciate and love that I’m their friend. They understand that being friends isn’t just having good times together, but also walking side by side through the valleys and rough parts of life.

SIETE. They DO notice the tiny details. Even when it’s not your boyfriend/husband, men are not as unobservant as us females stereotype them to be. Good men remember conversations and memories!

OCHO.  Good men are great at leadership! They’re assertive, bold, take risks, but remain conscious of the bigger picture at hand.

As I write these points down, one thing is clear. Everything I love about men, I pretty much say about women. I think the most important thing to understand here is that we (women) are just as broken as men. Yes,  gender inequality and injustice is a huge issue, but if we continue looking at men as merely the perpetrators  and abusers; there is no room for reconciliation. Yes, they have failed us when we needed them to lead, to take charge (especially in the church), and we had to take up the responsibility of raising children and siblings when they walked out out of the family; but we cannot be continue blaming the good men in our lives for the “bad men” of the past.

We need to appreciate and love on these good men; encouraging them instead of bashing slash diminishing their character and abilities. That is all. We, I need to recognize that men and women have to mutually respect one another in order so that healing can begin. We can’t keep complaining about how stupid, useless, and lazy men are and start speaking truth and light into their lives.


6 thoughts on “men: why we need them

  1. this is so good, symphony! good point about speaking truth and light into men’s lives, even though men may have failed us in the past. And also forgiving the men who have wronged us or other women we know is hard but important for restoration and reconciliation.

  2. Good reminder Symphony. It’s so easy to jump on the bandwagon and blame and criticize others. But appreciation often evades the mind. We do this to our Lord as well. Let’s learn to honor and give gratitude to all that God our Father has blessed us with, and in doing so we will also be able to appreciate and give honor to our God given men.

  3. Pingback: there’s another side to every story | jourordinaire

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