i was made for more than this

here’s some #radicalhonesty for you …  (and yes i DID hashtag on my blog. it’s my blog, don’t hate -____-)

it’s been a rough week.
especially in the academic area. midterm week(s), sleepless nights, library everyday multiple times, getting to that hour when work just can’t get done. making decisions between sleeping or trying for that extra 10 percent. mediocre procrastinating.

but you know what? it’s also been a grace-filled week.

there’s just something to say about college and some great late night moments. between the times where i was dying from studying or a paper, i had so many intense slash awesome and necessary conversations with people.  i mean, it just literally happened and the week hasn’t even ended! thursday night, should be sleeping because i don’t have a midterm until tuesday. but i’m up and talking to my favorite little  sister  and the conversation isn’t just “oh how was your day // what are you doing?” but words on truth and life; where we need to change; the places we are falling short in. talking about our dreams, our desires for a better tomorrow.

and as i contemplate on these conversations; some fun, some crazy and spastic, some left with a sigh, some hard and challenging, some angry, some disappointed, some hopeful and much more …. i KNOW there is more than [this].

[this] – stressing out over school and making myself miserable over a small percentage of a grade that won’t matter much in the long run. just a minuscule part of a grade on a transcript that won’t really matter when you speak of eternal things.

[this] feeling where I know that life IS most definitely about the moments you can don’t need clarity when you’re in the eye of the storm because you TRUST the boat/raft/bucket you’re in will carry you beyond the wind & waves to a beauuuuutiful island of glorious sand and sun. who needs to know where the island is? because right now, i don’t care about it! why focus on the outcome when you have all this journey to dwell and enjoy. no matter how hard, treacherous or complicated, as long as i trust and know that my Maker is watching and guiding me, #lifeisgood.

the anthem this semester has surely been anticipation. knowing that there is something more
feeling restless

I’ll be waiting
Anticipating
All that I aim for
What I was made for
With every heartbeat
All of my blood bleeds
Running inside me
Looking for you

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
I’m looking for you

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